LOVE LOVE LOVE

I am SO blissfully happy!

Re-Run

Its just like when I was 17. I had broken up with the love of my life, he wasn't speaking to me or answering my phone calls. We accidentally ran into each other at a restaurant and we both pretended we didn't know each other. We didn't look at each other, we didn't speak to each other. It made me feel so awful. I couldn't eat my food and it basically ruined my night.

Fast forward to today. Again, have broken up with only the second person I have truly loved. Not speaking, not texting, emailing, etc. We have run into each other twice at the bar. Ignored each other, didn't look at each other. Made me feel awful and ruined my night, twice.

I have come to the conclusion that relationships aren't worth it. It is too hard to find a good one and when they end, it hurts way too much. I can't keep doing this. It has been almost two months and I can't move on. I can't get over it. I am a mess.

I think it is time to be done. Its me and my kids and no more pain.

I am not very good at this blogging thing. So, the weightloss. It is coming along. I have lost twenty pounds. I feel a lot better about myself physically.

I should have lost more by now but I admit, while I never gained during the process, I did stay the same for several weeks. I got into a relationship and that led to eating out a lot, not making the best food choices, etc.

I am now out of that relationship and while it may be good for my diet, it is very hard on my soul. I am the one that did the breaking up, for my own sanity. It wasn't a healthy relationship. However, I left feeling very sad and depressed. Very alone and empty. I hate feeling this way. I have not felt this way in a long time. I don't think I felt this bad even after my divorce.

This is also a hard time of year to feel this way. Lord help me get through the days.

Thank you to my Dad and Step-Mom for their amazing Christmas gift. It really did help me and the boys will certainly benefit from it.

I love you all.

Time for a change.

I have been reluctant to announce this, mostly because I am afraid of failure...and everyone knowing I failed. But, here it goes. I have started Weight Watchers. I have only been on the program for a week. WW suggests loosing no more than 2lbs a week. Today was my first weigh in and I lost 9.2 pounds. The first week is always a lot more than normal. I sorta feel like it is a fluke. I really hope and pray that I can keep it up. I need to feel better about myself, get out of this funk I am in. I am hoping this is the cure. I find that when lots of changes start happening that are out of my control, I panic and slip into a depression. It is hard for me to be out of control. So, I am hoping that by being in control of this and doing something good for myself will help.

Camping

The boys and I went camping with Kasey and his family. We had fun! I got a little sunburned. We all got a few bug bites but considering how many millions of mosquitos were out there, a few is pretty good! I love spending time with Kasey. I am going to post a blog soon about my HUGE frustrations with my Mom.

DANE COOK!!

On May 21 me and two friends saw Dane Cook perform at the E Center. We were chosen to meet him backstage. It was SO fun! He is such a funny guy. SO HOT! Why can't he be single and like fat girls?! haha. I got to HUG Dane Cook! aaahhhhhh.... The pic is horrible, but here it is anyway.

New Hair!

I cut my hair. I don't like it. It is WAY too short. It was supposed to be longer in front but the hairdresser got scissor happy. I am now taking prenatel vitamins to try to get it to grow faster, haha.