I am not very good at this blogging thing. So, the weightloss. It is coming along. I have lost twenty pounds. I feel a lot better about myself physically.

I should have lost more by now but I admit, while I never gained during the process, I did stay the same for several weeks. I got into a relationship and that led to eating out a lot, not making the best food choices, etc.

I am now out of that relationship and while it may be good for my diet, it is very hard on my soul. I am the one that did the breaking up, for my own sanity. It wasn't a healthy relationship. However, I left feeling very sad and depressed. Very alone and empty. I hate feeling this way. I have not felt this way in a long time. I don't think I felt this bad even after my divorce.

This is also a hard time of year to feel this way. Lord help me get through the days.

Thank you to my Dad and Step-Mom for their amazing Christmas gift. It really did help me and the boys will certainly benefit from it.

I love you all.

Time for a change.

I have been reluctant to announce this, mostly because I am afraid of failure...and everyone knowing I failed. But, here it goes. I have started Weight Watchers. I have only been on the program for a week. WW suggests loosing no more than 2lbs a week. Today was my first weigh in and I lost 9.2 pounds. The first week is always a lot more than normal. I sorta feel like it is a fluke. I really hope and pray that I can keep it up. I need to feel better about myself, get out of this funk I am in. I am hoping this is the cure. I find that when lots of changes start happening that are out of my control, I panic and slip into a depression. It is hard for me to be out of control. So, I am hoping that by being in control of this and doing something good for myself will help.

Camping

The boys and I went camping with Kasey and his family. We had fun! I got a little sunburned. We all got a few bug bites but considering how many millions of mosquitos were out there, a few is pretty good! I love spending time with Kasey. I am going to post a blog soon about my HUGE frustrations with my Mom.

DANE COOK!!

On May 21 me and two friends saw Dane Cook perform at the E Center. We were chosen to meet him backstage. It was SO fun! He is such a funny guy. SO HOT! Why can't he be single and like fat girls?! haha. I got to HUG Dane Cook! aaahhhhhh.... The pic is horrible, but here it is anyway.

New Hair!

I cut my hair. I don't like it. It is WAY too short. It was supposed to be longer in front but the hairdresser got scissor happy. I am now taking prenatel vitamins to try to get it to grow faster, haha.

April 22, 2009

Yesterday would have been my nine year wedding anniversary. Sometimes I do regret that would couldn't make things work. Being in a marriage together, raising our children together would be ideal. But, I also know that getting a divorce was for the best. I am much happier now. The kids are happier seeing me happy and not having to hear and see us fight all the time. Ike is not happier unfortunately. I am not sure what happened but I guess he never learned to take care of himself. He really is a mess and I feel bad for him but I am no longer responsible for him and refuse to let his actions and bad decisions effect my life.

So, yesterday was a good day. I had the day off so I was lazy all day. I layed around with a good friend of mine. It was nice and relaxing. It was also my awesome friend Brandi's 21st birthday. So that evening I went to dinnner with her and her family then her and I and some friends went to a bar. We a had a lot of fun.

Happy Birthday to Brandi.
Happy ex-Anniversary to Ike and I.
Happy to be single!

An update!

So, almost a year later...here it is! I realized that I was always writing such negative things and my life wasn't really going the way I wanted it to and I decided I didn't need to keep sharing that with everyone. But, things are going really good now and people are telling they need an update.

My anemia got worse. The size of my red blood cells got really small, I was a mess. I was sent to a hematologist and she put me on some different meds that didn't help. She was stumped and finally sent me to the hospital every week for IV therapy and I have had to stop my period. I can't afford to loose anything. So after several treatments my levels are finally to the lowest end of normal. Considering what they were, this is a huge success! I have to stay on meds but the IV treatments are done for now, as long as I don't have a period. In the course of this my B12 plummeted to dangerous levels as well and was NOT coming back up. So low in fact that nerve damage has began and an MRI shows a tiny bit of dementia. Who knew that B12 was so important. Unfortunately, these things are not reversable. I now give myself monthly B12 injections at home to make sure none of this gets worse. But I have to say that I am finally starting to feel better. I am slowly feeling the energy come back a tiny bit and my moods are imporoving. I am breathing a little easier and just over all, feeling better.

The Ike situation is getting a lot better. He got evicted from my apartments here and moved into another apartment. He got evicted from there as well. So now he is in Magna living with a couple of girls in a house. This is good! He is far enough away from me that I never see him except when exchanging the kids. I am getting child support from ORS. Things are getting better.

I still work as a relay operator for the deaf and hard of hearing. I have been there almost a year. I don't love the job, I tolerate it. But, they are good to work with the schedule I need for the kids. So it works for now. I still have about two years till Christian is in school. When that happens, I think I will go back to Phlebotomy.

Dating...I am done with it. I have gotten so burned out on it. I was meeting people who were so crazily clingy or just wanted a "Friend With Benefits". I am not okay with either situation. I was dating so much that it got to the point where I literally got sick to my stomach when thinking about going out any more. So I am done and have felt a lot better since then. I don't need men in my life. I have my sweet little boys and my friends and an amazing church. That is all I need right now.

And Church...I LOVE it! I have found a really great church. K2. I love it. My kids love it. I don't know what more to say about it, it is simply great and I can now say I have an awesome relationship with my Lord and Savior. I was babtized in September in Sugar House Park at Burning Heart. I feel great!

The boys are doing good. Noah is really cathing up on his reading. He is only about a half a grade behind now which is a HUGE improvement. Noah LOVES video games. He is a very sweet boy. He is really doing great in developing his relationship with Christ as well. Christian is in pre-school and really enjoys it. He is such a friendly little boy. He loves everyone. He is so cuddly and loving. They are both doing great and really looking forward to Spring and Summer.

We moved into a bigger apartment. We are in the same complex but in a two bedroom. Mommy finally gets her own room! Rent is a little expensive, but it is worth it.

I think I covered everything :o) I will try a little harder at keeping up.